Christmas Season is HERE

I know it's not a good thing when I cannot remember what was bought for my kids for Christmas.  I am going to wrap the presents tonight while I send them off with their Grandmother for the evening.  So while I wrap, I have to take inventory.  INVENTORY for the presents we bought!  And after inventory, I'll have to see if the kids have an even amount of presents!  UGH  I love seeing them open them on Christmas morning, but why do I always let it get down to this mad rush?

The boys will have to share a lot of gifts.  Some games for their Wii, the trampoline we bought for everyone.  The baby will have way too much for a baby her age who has no idea what's going on!  I intended to buy just enough for her so that Santa did a good job for everyone.  But, I got excited and got too much.  She's my girl.  It's a new thing to buy girlie toys.  Last year was her first official Christmas, but this year, I get to buy toys and things she'll actually take an interest in. (I hope.)

In past years we've run around all over the city visiting relatives.  Not so easy when hubby and I both are the spawn of divorced parents.  That's, at a minimum, 4 places to be on one day.  Through the years, and our ever changing families' dynamics  that has changed.  One place to be Christmas Eve, Another Christmas Day, and Another the day after.  

I am stressed, but cannot wait to see my babies celebrating with all of our family.  These are the few times we all get together.  I love seeing them interact with everyone.  And they're growing so fast.  Hopefully Santa sticks around for quite a few more years for BigBoy1.  I know he's dangerously close to disappearing!

Elementary Tragedy

OMG  Nothing more is needed, just OMG.  Watching the news, crying hysterically.  Wondering what it is that I tell my children when they get home tonight.  I'm going to try my best to keep the news turned off tonight.  My heart literally hurts.  I cannot imagine what these parents are going through.  Their children had nothing to do with the gunman and his mother's relationship.  Did he feel that his mother cared more for these children than she did for him?  I cannot stop crying.

Hug your kids, kiss your kids, cuddle with your kids tonight.  This horrible tragedy will make you realize how precious any time you have with your children is.  Life is so unpredictable, no one would ever in a million years could imagine a crazy man would gun down 5 - 10 year old babies.  Yes, I say babies.  These babies have not had a chance to live their lives.  They are still babies who have not been permitted to grow.  Along with these babies are several teachers.  Teachers who wouldn't be teachers if they didn't love children.  Teachers who were helping these babies to grow.  I can only assume some of these teachers sacrificed themselves trying to protect these babies. I can also only assume that these teachers' families will be completely lost with out them, too.  

I don't know if my kids are gong to be permitted to leave my side today.  The upcoming Christmas Vacation from school may be my most cherished time with them.  I'm going to give them extra hugs, kisses, any attention they need or ask for.  Might be a week of cuddling up under a blanket to watch movies kind of vacation.  Anything to be with them and be thankful that I have my three babies with me.

Why does all the sickness come at once?

Everyone has had some kind of sickness this week.  Baby Girl is getting over a cold, which also caused an ear infection.  The Boys both had some weird fever, not other symptom but a runny nose.  Now Hubby has some stomach bug.  REALLY??? 

I swear I need a sick day.  Maybe I can just return when everyone is better?  And I'm sorry to say, I'm not nice to sick people.  I cannot tell you why.  Maybe I feel like everyone needs to just get over it and go on with their day.  Why?  Because that's what I have to do.  What?  I'm sick?  Nope, never.  You know why?  Because I'm a mom.  I'm not allowed to be sick.  I DO feel really bad that I lose all empathy for those who are sick with colds/stomach bugs/snotty noses/coughs.  

I was also told how shitty I've been for a few days... I wonder if it could be because I GOT SICK! God, please help me if I get this stomach bug.  The house will be so freaking trashed by the time I feel up to cleaning up!  Which may be part of the reason I've been shitty.  Not feeling good and the house is a mess, that stresses me out!!!  I mean, I'm by no means Suzie Homemaker with the freshest house in the neighborhood.  My house generally is in disarray, but it's usually controllable...  At least in my head it is.  But it's on my nerves right now.  I am feeling much better, and have even decided to be the cook for tonight.  But the Boys will be so upset, "Chicken again?"  Yep.  Chicken.  But, not the same as last night because maybe that's what's causing daddy's "stomach bug"?  (I was not the cook yesterday, btw)

So, keep your fingers crossed for me.  Insanity may ensue if I end up sick and in the middle of the chaos with no defenses!

The Start

I've decided I need some kind of anonymous outlet.  (I'd like to take bets as to how long I stay anonymous, I'm not good with secrets.) So here it goes...

As I type this, BabyGirl is banging at the computer.  At least the boys are hanging out and aren't trying to kill each other today.  Hubby is playing some game on his computer.  Not a productive night around here.

I was once a working mother.  But when Baby #3 was about to be introduced to our family, we decided (ok, maybe it was just me who decided) that there was no point in dishing out all that moolah to a daycare.  I definitely wasn't ready to be a SAHM when I had Baby#1, our First Born Son.  I felt like I was counting the days for when it was time for me to return to work.  I did take the entire allotted 12 weeks, and am grateful that I did.  BUT was oh so grateful to get back to my nine to fiver.  It took some of the pressure off of me.  I knew how to be an accountant, but had no idea how to be a mother.  

With Baby#2, Second Born Son, I wasn't quite as eager to return to work, but it was not feasible for me to stay home at that point.  Plus, I'm not quite sure I was ready then.   When Second was about 2, I got laid off.   It gave me a taste of SAHM, but I felt like I couldn't commit to it.  I didn't plan things to do with him while his brother was in Kindergarten.  Mostly because I was looking for another job EVERY DAY.  And I never knew when I'd be called for an interview.  So Poor Second and I had very few planned outings.  During that time, my father-in-law was living with us.  So, in a way it was a blessing to be laid off at that time.  He was getting more sick, and it was helpful that I was here to help him out.  But during that time, I felt like I got a lot of that one on one time that Second hadn't really gotten with being #2.  So, I began to change my mindframe, and gave myself a deadline.  My "find a job or you're staying home full time" deadline.  Of course, I found that job 2 weeks before I hit my deadline.  

After careful timing (making sure I would be at this place for the required year before giving birth) we went for it.  Went for #3 hoping for a girl.  We got her!  And that was it. After maternity leave, I was officially a SAHM. I was definitely ready this time. 

Well, I guess this will conclude my first entry. I know I'll have so much more to write, not knowing if anyone will ever read this.